Losing joy & then finding her again.

She must be somewhere deep down in your heart, Joy that is. Maybe today she is ready to come out & play.

  Approx. 5 months ago. My husband and I were in a head on collision. I severed a tendon in my wrist because at that moment I believed I had super powers &  I could stop the vehicle if I held on. Boy was I wrong.  It could have been worse & I am thankful it wasn’t but I have to say it has not been fun. In March I had to have surgery to put my tendon back together, then I was in a placed in a full arm cast for 7 weeks. UGHH!  For someone with ADD this was maddening. I couldn’t do anything but stare at the things I wanted to do. I had to have my husband help me shower, open things, cut my food & carry things for me. To top it off I was now a one finger typist & couldn't use my camera properly.

the hardest thing to do was scratch, my husband attempted to put my hair in a pony tail, &

my pillow that my friend made me. 

 



So what does one do when they are an independent, crazed ADD, mad DIY’er & forced to sit their butt down? Cry, get mad, get sad, & lose their mind.

When the day came to take my cast off, I cried, I was so happy. What a Joyous day! The medical assistant couldn't cut the cast off fast enough, I even started helping her tug it open. And finally, there it was... my arm, cold, swollen, chaffing, & now HAIRY ?! It looked like a limp wet noodle (minus the hair) My arm couldn’t do a darn thing. It wanted to crawl back in that cast & I wanted to go with it.  I was told therapy would take a minimum of 6 months & a year to fully function, if even that. WHAT? Seriously?

I was determined to get back to work & do projects. So I started therapy immediately & I worked extra hard at home. I was going to have a VERY SPEEDY recovery. I finally was able to do a little more & was approved to work light duty. But since I work at a hospital, there was no light duty for me to do.  They wanted to make sure I was safe & the patients were safe. Cue hormones to release the water works! I understood, but this was hard as I love my job.

I sat, stared, napped, stared some more & didn’t do anything.

The hubby soon realized that I was falling into introvert mode fast. I would sit & stare at the computer, google became my friend. I would flip through Netflix trying to find something interesting to watch but instead just read the descriptions. I would sit on the floor, I would sit outside & then I would sit back inside.  I was sad. I knew it but I couldn't explain why.  I didn’t get out. I couldn’t even go for a walk & when I decided to, it was too late.  I prayed for peace & understanding but I just  couldn’t get motivated to do anything.

I lost joy! 

A month ago , on memorial day weekend,  it started raining. Buckets poured & waters roared & rushed through Austin & surrounding cities. Sadly a lot of people were impacted by the floods & lives were lost, including precious little ones.  I started going through my closet & donated as much stuff as I could.

Austin Pets Alive also got flooded not only by water but by animals too. My husband & I went down there to see if we could help & found that they needed linens to be washed. So my saddened days went from sitting at home starring at the wall to washing towels, blankets & linens. 4 trash bags later I went to drop them off & came home with 3 puppies.  I found my JOY!

Now where is the joy in that? Pee, poop, chewing, biting, & late hours. No, YES! thank you.  It was my saving grace towards my sanity.  I have fostered before but this time it was different. This was going to be my job right now. I had something to do &  I had the availability to stay home & train these pups. Best of all I was able to find these babies fur-ever homes without hurting my hand.

I eventually fostered 3 more fosters & this time I decided to bring them to the hospital where I worked. This gave me the chance to get human interaction (which I so desperately needed) & my co-workers got puppy therapy.  WIN! WIN!

employee therapy

 

When you find that you are stuck & your down, it’s always best to find something you love to do. Paint, dance, garden, take a walk or go volunteer. Better yet become an animal foster. There is something about puppy breath & cute clumsy puppies running around that can bring a smile & a spark of light into your heart. Unless they trip you & you fall & chip a tooth. Then that wouldn't be a great smile at all.  

you foster them & then they sit on your face.



SIDE NOTE.

I know that things could be worse but this was my fight. Not having the ability to do what I physically wanted to do & being told I couldn't work, broke my heart.  This was my heavy chain. Everyone has their own battles. What appears small could be a lot bigger for them. Everyone deals with things differently. When I was left alone with my own thoughts, I realized that my sadness kicked in. Of course  I am no expert on situational depression/sadness, but when a person with ADD is left with their thoughts, it can overwhelming. Thoughts need to have an outlet & if it can not be released then it sits there piling up with more thoughts.  For example; if you had a dog that had a broken leg, you wouldn't say "SQUIRREL" to it, you  know that s/he couldn't chase after it. It wouldn't be very nice if you did.  So you  wouldn't say anything & leave it be. BECAUSE YOU ARE A NICE PERSON! 

 Well my brain IS NOT NICE, it  says "SQUIRREL" ALL  the time & all I can do  is look at the darn rodent.  I have learned to discipline myself with staying on task & doing projects after my tasks are done, but when you can't do a task to get to that project (my Squirrel) I'm going nuts. I can  only chase my own tail for so long before I become a mad dog.

HOW DO YOU FIND YOUR JOY?

Life is short, find your joy & smile while you still have teeth.


 

Writer's Block.

WRITER’S BLOCK.

 

There will come a time when you sit in front of your typewriter keyboard and you realize that your thoughts just... POOF!!!  Maybe life has gotten busy, you’re under a lot of pressure & or your imaginary friends just stop talking to you.  

 

Well thanks to a recent meetup group I attended, there is hope. Maybe.

A couple of days ago I was fortunate enough to have attended a down town photo walk & blogging experiment with fellow bloggers.  We met up at Zax (charming place) & after a brief meet & greet we headed out with our their fancy cell phones in hand to explore & photograph down town Austin.  My jitter-bug was not up to par for taking fancy shmancy photos so I brought my cannon.

As we took a leisurely stroll towards the congress bridge, Joey (organizer) told us to take as many pictures as we could. Partial pics work perfect; (feet, wheels, shadows), things that don’t make sense (trash in nature, lost shoe) sky (no skyline just clouds), and then later on the off chance you have writer’s block one of these glorious pics can inspire a story. 

WHAT A FABULOUS CONCEPT!!! And for the cherry on top, if we shared our photos within the group, we were allowed to use them. Perfect way to get different views of the same thing I saw through my lens.

Now every time I have met up with this group (only two times due to hand surgery) I have taken something else out of it then what initially was set up to be. This meet up was initially about using your OWN photographs for your blog instead of using other resources.  After all, pictures are worth a thousand words, especially if it’s your own. 

Now, I am no expert at writer's block dilemma's,  but it couldn't hurt to give a shot.

 

So here are some of the pics that I took on our walk.  I added a few ideas of what I could write about below them.  Let's hope that I won't need them any  time soon! 

Things to do / see / people

 



 safety/cleaning/ respecting our parks

renting bikes/wheels/environment

 

water fun/rentals/people

 

WHEN YOU HAVE WRITER'S BLOCK, WHAT DO YOU DO?

Love to hear about it!

 

 

Breaking the Chains.

Breaking the chains that hold you!

 

In order to move towards your goal, in order to get motivated you need to first break the chains that hold you. 

Thinking about making a change is a start, but actually doing it, is a task. Some people are easily motivated and others… well it’s hard. 

I was talking to my cousin the other day & she made a good point. It is easier to tell/show someone what they need to do because it is not you going through it. You are the only one that is keeping yourself from moving forward.  The resources are out there that can help you. Just sometimes it takes a little digging to find them.

What do you need to do to help you get on your feet & move towards your goal?

Is it money? They do say money is the root of all evil and sometimes it’s the chain that holds you down. When I first started nursing school, I realized that my income was going to be less then what I wanted to. I would have to focus on my studies and pay for school. My husband and I refuse to have student loans so we started to get rid of things, INCLUDING negative people.

 

Looking at your budget in a glance.

 

You need to have money for necessities. Home, food, transportation, utilities, family (day care, medical etc.) This is a given, however do you need cable, those overpriced lattes & extra entertainment budget? NO those are wants. I am certain that you have heard this before, who hasn't? But what has kept you from it? Are you needing budget tools to help? On debt.org  they help you create and manage a budget.  This is one way  to help you break those chains of debt, allowing you to move forward towards your goal.  

 

 

Once you reached your goals you can go back & get what you want because, as  Dave Ramsey says, your budget allows you to. You really have to comb through your budget, be brutally truthful & start rearranging. This includes your insurances & cell phones etc. Shop around & look for discounts. Check to see if companies offer business, service (military/firefighter/nurse etc) discounts. Your employer may even offer corporate discounts.  Check out 10 Smart ways to improve your budget.     Learn-vest has an app to see where your money is going as well as  Mint.com. These are great tools for those visual learners.  If you VISUALLY see where money is going it could jump start you to  make a positive change. As Howard Clark says it's time to ditch that debt.

 

 

ORGANIZING.

Stuck in a clutter of STUFF?  Throw an organizing party. Offer food & do time increments. A friend of mine did this & it was amazing. She asked mutual friends to come at different times. You could pick morning, afternoon or late afternoon to help out. GENIUS!!! Sticky notes were placed on items that she didn't want anyone touching, moving or giving away. In one day the kitchen, living/bedroom and guest bedroom were done. ONE WHOLE day!  Before you run out to buy stuff to organize, repurpose  items you already have. Remember, Stuff, is money waiting to be generated, repurposed or donated. Stuff can cause chaos & overwhelming emotions that could chain you down.

 

EXTRA MONEY.

  On the Today show, find hidden money around your house, you can We started selling things on eBay/craigslist for extra income. We sold things we didn’t use or no longer needed. This extra money went towards projects.

 

If you love to go out and don't want to compromise your budget, search your local city for free events.  Austin has a website dedicated to free things to do.  AWESOME!

 

Bartering is another great tool that can help you succeed. If you have something to offer they may have something for you. Don’t have skills that you think someone might want or need? Think again. Walk a pet, house/baby/pet sit, mow a lawn, water their plants, run errands, organize their house or light housekeeping. Offer to baby sit while they study and vice versa. Think outside the box.

 

 

LETTING GO OF NEGATIVE PEOPLE.

 

 Sometimes letting go of negative people is the hardest thing to do. It needs to be something that you acknowledge & ask yourself are ready to be clear & free of them.   The Minimalists  shows you that it is ok to move on.  On psychology today, dealing with negative people may require you to deal with your own negativity. Sometimes it's not even a person, but your own feelings towards things. When you see; what you perceive as skinny fit people or someone who has reached their goals, when you have not, it could be tasking & chain you down. YOU have to be willing to make that change for YOU! 

 

FACE YOUR LIFE.

 Face your life.  Yes, a lot of people avoid things so they do not have to deal with them. I was one of them.  I'll do it tomorrow. I will look at later. I will call them when... Not facing things at the time could be the biggest chain that weighs you down to the point of drowning. 

 

I wanted to go back to school.  I know that I needed to do things in order to balance school, life and work. Not making a budget, not reaching out to the school for help or organizing my time held me back. The longer you wait, the longer it will take you to move forward. A friend let her bills pile up because she didn't have the funds to take care of them. As the bills piled up, the hole of debt got deeper to the point she owed a lot more then if she had picked up the phone & made arrangements with companies. 

 

Facing your challenges will bring you closer to your goals. Facing your life will help you manage what you need to do. REMEMBER this is for YOU!!  Doing this for you makes it easier for you to help who ever you need to help. your family, your relationship. 

 

LOVE YOURSELF.

 

Learn to be thankful for what you have. Learn to utilize what you have. Re-use it Write in your notebook. I am thankful for…. You could be worse off.  Tiny Buddha shows you 6 ways to love yourself. Psychology today  states its a gift of intimacy, not of will-power to love yourself.

When you wake up, love yourself. Tell yourself I will & I can. Make a change for you. No one else. You want to be happy and healthy and love what you do.

Break those chains, reach your goal & live the life YOU want.

 

 

 

What helps you break your chains? Reach your goals & love yourself?  

Love to hear about it!

 

 

I'm no expert, but think of this as free thoughts from a woman who has talked to an expert, once.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Orchestrating the Madness part 2.

Orchestrating the Madness Part 2

Now that you know what you want to do, you answered your questions TRUTHFULLY.  Where do you start? My friend, you officially started the ball rolling towards your goal and you are already off to a good start. Now getting the information to PREPARE YOU to keep that ball rolling.  BREATHE!!!

 Information:

BUST OUT YOUR HANDY DANDY NOTEBOOK!  Now go to your 2^nd page. Wait what? You didn’t do this in part one? GO DO IT!   Reaching your goal means staying on track and staying on track means have your questions ready to answer what you need/want to know and anything in between. If you are anything like me OHH SHINY! OHHH GLITTER! OHHH PINTEREST!!!  You will need a list to stay focus! To stay on track.  Remember this is about getting information to help you use this as a tool.  

Do tasks now, projects later.  

Now relying on the information that will work for you. Don’t sit for hours getting information on the intranet. Get what you need & get out. Too many distractions on the net. If you have questions while searching, write them down and if you have new questions, write them below your initial questions and find those later. It could be confusing at first & its ok, you will find the answers you need. If you feel overwhelmed walk away. Take a walk, dance around in the living room, and or meet someone for lunch, dinner. Stick around positive people. Then later when you are ready go back to getting the information you need.  You can even go to a library or a book store for information and ideas. This is a great FREE resource.

Starting a Business . Meet Up groups - sometimes you can find people with like minds that can help you get started, with a business, photography, blogging etc. Great source of information and networking.  LinkedIn great networking. Want to sell crafts? Etsy is a great source. Etsy on Youtube- she has a lot of great answers on how to start & answers your questions as to why you are or not selling. youtube is another great source of information if you are not a reader.  Dave Ramsey has a free budget tool to help you out.  FASFA for financial aid for school. You want to be a photographer? Slanted Lens is an amazing source of free information.

Once you get the information that you need. Take a break. You do not want to get overwhelmed to the point you give up or get frustrated. It's ok to take a break.

Once you feel that you have enough information to get started, then start contacting people, making appointments, filling out forms, budgeting. Watching the videos that will help you towards your goal.  

YAY!!! You are on your way! And so am I... I'm doing this too. 

Now use your notebook as a reference. Keep it somewhere you will see it ALL the time. Write questions, ideas or thoughts down & or even your fears.  Try to stay positive. Write positive things in there. Just keep it out so you will constantly see your goals.  Utilize it to your advantage.

Is there anything that has helped you reach or get closer to your goals? I like to hear about it.

Go ahead, write in your journal. Use the whole box of crayons, I do.