She must be somewhere deep down
in your heart, Joy that is. Maybe today she is ready to come out & play.
Approx.
5 months ago. My husband and I were in a head on collision. I severed a tendon
in my wrist because at that moment I believed I had super powers & I could stop the vehicle if I held on. Boy was I wrong. It could have been worse & I am
thankful it wasn’t but I have to say it has not been fun. In March I had to
have surgery to put my tendon back together, then I was in a placed in a full
arm cast for 7 weeks. UGHH! For someone
with ADD this was maddening. I couldn’t do anything but stare at the things I
wanted to do. I had to have my husband help me shower, open things, cut my food
& carry things for me. To top it off I was now a one finger typist & couldn't use my camera properly.
the hardest thing to do was scratch, my husband attempted to put my hair in a pony tail, &
my pillow that my friend made me.
So what does one do when they are
an independent, crazed ADD, mad DIY’er & forced to sit their butt down?
Cry, get mad, get sad, & lose their mind.
When the day came to take my cast
off, I cried, I was so happy. What a Joyous day! The medical assistant couldn't cut the cast off fast enough, I even started helping her tug it open. And finally, there it was... my arm, cold, swollen, chaffing, & now HAIRY ?! It looked like a limp wet noodle (minus the hair) My arm couldn’t do a darn
thing. It wanted to crawl back in that cast & I wanted to go with it. I was told therapy would take a minimum of 6 months & a year to fully function, if even that. WHAT? Seriously?
I was determined to get back to
work & do projects. So I started therapy immediately & I worked extra hard at home. I was going to have a VERY SPEEDY recovery. I finally was able to do a
little more & was approved to work light duty. But since I work at a
hospital, there was no light duty for me to do.
They wanted to make sure I was safe & the patients were safe. Cue
hormones to release the water works! I understood, but this was hard as I love my job.
I sat, stared, napped, stared
some more & didn’t do anything.
The hubby soon realized that I was
falling into introvert mode fast. I would sit & stare at the computer,
google became my friend. I would flip through Netflix trying to find something
interesting to watch but instead just read the descriptions. I would sit on the floor, I would sit outside & then
I would sit back inside. I was sad. I knew it but I couldn't explain why. I didn’t get out. I couldn’t even go for a
walk & when I decided to, it was too late. I prayed for peace & understanding but I
just couldn’t get motivated to do anything.
I lost joy!
A month ago , on memorial day weekend, it started raining.
Buckets poured & waters roared & rushed through Austin & surrounding
cities. Sadly a lot of people were impacted by the floods & lives were
lost, including precious little ones. I started
going through my closet & donated as much stuff as I could.
Austin Pets Alive also got
flooded not only by water but by animals too. My husband & I went down
there to see if we could help & found that they needed linens to be washed.
So my saddened days went from sitting at home starring at the wall to washing
towels, blankets & linens. 4 trash bags later I went to drop them off &
came home with 3 puppies. I found my
JOY!
Now where is the joy in that? Pee,
poop, chewing, biting, & late hours. No, YES! thank you. It was my saving grace towards my sanity. I have fostered before but this time it was different. This was going to be my job
right now. I had something to do & I had the availability to stay home &
train these pups. Best of all I was able to find these babies fur-ever homes
without hurting my hand.
I eventually fostered 3 more
fosters & this time I decided to bring them to the hospital where I worked. This
gave me the chance to get human interaction (which I so desperately needed) & my co-workers got puppy
therapy. WIN! WIN!
employee therapy
When you find that you are stuck
& your down, it’s always best to find something you love to do. Paint,
dance, garden, take a walk or go volunteer. Better yet become an animal foster.
There is something about puppy breath
& cute clumsy puppies running around that can bring a smile & a spark of light
into your heart. Unless they trip you & you fall & chip a tooth. Then that wouldn't be a great smile at all.
you foster them & then they sit on your face.
SIDE NOTE.
I know that things could be worse but this was my fight. Not having the ability to do what I physically wanted to do & being told I couldn't work, broke my heart. This was my heavy chain. Everyone has their own battles. What appears small could be a lot bigger for them. Everyone deals with things differently. When I was left alone with my own thoughts, I realized that my sadness kicked in. Of course I am no expert on situational depression/sadness, but when a person with ADD is left with their thoughts, it can overwhelming. Thoughts need to have an outlet & if it can not be released then it sits there piling up with more thoughts. For example; if you had a dog that had a broken leg, you wouldn't say "SQUIRREL" to it, you know that s/he couldn't chase after it. It wouldn't be very nice if you did. So you wouldn't say anything & leave it be. BECAUSE YOU ARE A NICE PERSON!
Well my brain IS NOT NICE, it says "SQUIRREL" ALL the time & all I can do is look at the darn rodent. I have learned to discipline myself with staying on task & doing projects after my tasks are done, but when you can't do a task to get to that project (my Squirrel) I'm going nuts. I can only chase my own tail for so long before I become a mad dog.
HOW DO YOU FIND YOUR JOY?
Life is short, find your joy & smile while you still have teeth.
HOW DO YOU FIND YOUR JOY?
Life is short, find your joy & smile while you still have teeth.